Wednesday, May 11, 2011

It hurts sometimes

 Hi there,whoever is reading, which is usually only one person.I've been going through some of my old blogs and just realised a pattern. I've been talking about guys way too much, its about time I let go. I broke up with my boyfriend about two weeks ago, it was sad. He seemed to have loved me so much but my heart just wasn't in it.I wish I could turn back time and spare him the pain, he's a good guy.
 
So the semester is almost ending, the end of yet another academic year, more goodbyes,more heartaches. there's something strange about the friends we meet on campus, we are never sure we'll see them again. I have many such friends. though I am grateful for the time that I have known them, I cannot help but feel a bit of longing at the thought of them not being here next sem. To my friends,if any of you is reading,I love you more than I can say. this is the first sem that I've felt like i finally understand what I'm studying, weird I know. After 5 semesters, I finally feel like a building economist in the making. I'm so going to enjoy preparing for these exams. I am determined to give it my best but i know my excellence is not dependent upon me but upon God. I have the mind of Christ and therefore the ability to understand all things. I'm extremely grateful to God for the many things He is teaching me and for who He is to me. This semester has been so challenging but I just read something I heard from a sermon

"when you are going through the valley and  you feel like you've been buried,praise God for you have just been planted."



Tough times help us grow,pruning has never been fun for the branches yet it is so beneficial. One area where I am learning to trust God more is with my heart, I thought I knew how to but I've learnt afresh. Like I said I'm chilling dudes for the rest of this year, I need some sorting out. Believe it or not I am in love with someone. It has been on and off fighting it for about a year now. my heart feels.....I can't explain it, it is a bittersweet feeling; but blessed be the name of the Lord,I'm learning to live to lose. He's my one I feel like I have found my one but....it's complicated. Once again I sing" keep my heart Lord, keep my heart" it breaks a little everyday; but I trust you that you want what's best for me and that my steps are indeed ordered by you, even if I fall I will rise, wiser,stronger and with better vision. I have to let him go, my one, I surrender you to God. I love you so much but may the Lord have his way and may he provide liniment for my heart.

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