I surely hope that is the spelling of that word. Don't ask me what it means, look it up! But in my own opinion, I think it is a synonym for confusion, indecisiveness of the hands. I mean your hands should decide which one ought to be the boss, either the left or the right. You can not be a superb writer with both. The same way my hands should decide whether they are pushing this dude away or calling him closer. The very thing that is "wrong" with him is that one thing that is very attractive about him. He appeals to my dark side and makes it seem ok. Imperfection!!!! so enticing. Scars, so beautiful. I want to touch him where it hurts and I want him to tell me about his pain. NO!! I don't want to fix him, fixing him would ruin him. I want him to heal though but I want the scar to remain. I guess I understand Heidi's attraction to Seal, in as much as hers might have been physical. Mine isn't really physical, it's deeper than that.
I love the way he smiles. He has a smile for craziness when he just wants to lose control. He has a tender smile, as if encouraging another to come out of a shell. He has another just random smile when he is just amused. I haven't known him long but I have caught glimpses of him in the things that he writes. He is passionate! Passion jumps off the pages/screen depending on what I'm reading. By the way, he is a genious. I don't know if He knows it. I am saying only beautiful things, probably got you wondering why I want to run. I am not sure I want to run but I think I have to.
A part of me thinks he wants me to run from him but my feet are stuck here, staring at his face,lost in his words, loving the way they are just rolling of his tongue and I want him closer!