Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Symphony of blase

On the outside, I am seated at my work desk with my back straight, eyes glued to my computer screen, listening to music, working. On the inside, my head is rested upon this same desk, hiding my face from the world agonizing over the conversation I had last night. I am actually fighting hard to keep from using bad words every minute or so.

Why wasn't I given a rewind button upon birth? I want to take it all back; that 20 seconds of stupidity and incosideration. That moment when I said things that were better left unsaid. Now he's mad, really mad at me. He is mad at the world! Maybe this is my cue to leave. To let this be. It seems I care more than I thought I did; but even if I am to walk away, it should not be like this!

I am sorry about yesterday. Please  talk to me, talk to me so that I can say my last goodbye. I let you down and I want to make up for it yet I still don't have answers for you. I don't want to turn my back to you; let me walk backwards. Let me look at your face until distance is the only reason I can't. Please don't look away from me.

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