Thursday, November 8, 2012


I get up to stare out the window, being a lover of the dramatic; it's raining. The wind is blowing the drops and thus they are falling in the diagonal. Why are you so downcast my soul, I remember the psalmist's words. Today I am picking a leaf from the many sad love songs and happily ever after movies I have watched; the ones that try to convince us that the things we do not neccessarily like in another maybe the reasons we even love them. I am not so sure about that but here are my things:
 I like the way you look at me when I am talking about myself, when I am telling you the serious staff. You listen and you take it all in. I like the fact that I can tell you just about anything and you will not make me feel wierd after.

I like that you do not pretend, that you say things as you mean them; in reference to that, I like it when you get vulnerable and see that you find it hard to say some things to me.
.I like it when you do things I thought you'd never ever ever do like saying things like
"I was just calling to say hi"

I like it when we are sitting next to each other and our hands find each other, at first timidly then confidently they stay.

I like the way you get me to say things that are hard for me to say drawing me out easily.

I hate the fact that regardless of how many times I try, I have not been able to get away from you.
I hate the fact that this thing seems to be progressing but I still can't qualify it with a name because I do not know what  is going on?
I hate it when you are so sad like right now and there is nothing I can do about it. I hate it when you hide your pain from me yet I can see it in your whole demeaner. I hate it when I think about you too much, when I start to dial your number and hang up.
I hate what my heart does when I hear your name or see you or smell you or...
I hate having to choose to walk away.

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