I find that I am afraid to say I love Jesus
or Papa or the holy Spirit.
It has not always been like this, I used to
write poems and songs and stories about this sweet child like relationship I
had with my father. As I grew older, my style of writing changed; feeling close
to my father, snuggled up close to him like a lover, sharing secret conversations,
as if pillow talk; actually pillow talk.
I want to kiss you on the neck, my Love;
more intimately than when I kiss you on the cheek
but without the usual-ness of a kiss on the lips.
I want to know you more; this kiss seems to suggest,
to whisper to you secrets about me. Intimacy
I’m making memories.
I’m etching your scent into the core of my very being. Spirit
My arms around your neck, yours around my waist…I am my Beloved’s and He is mine. Ownership
I am intoxicated with Love,
not a single thought of my own do I still hold, we are one.
You are mindful of me and my mind is full of you.
My mind is you. Surrender
Your eyes my horizon, my mirror,
I behold to see who I am.
You are my definition!
My every move is chartered by your Word;
promises to whom impossibility is impossible;
repentance is unknown. Vows
You smile and beauty engulfs me.
I want to kiss you on the neck, my love.
But of late, I find that I am hesitant to
say this. It is not that I am ashamed of Him, or that I do not want to identify
with him anymore, no. Numerous jokes have been told about how when a
relationship is falling apart, your sweet other might stop verbalising their
love for you, in public or otherwise. It is just that, the more, I learn or get
revelation of how much He loves me and the beautiful magnificent ways He does
it, the more inadequate words become. I find that I can’t find them, they elude
me, they deny me, they refuse to take part because they recognise there is no
way in a million galaxies that they could ever do Him justice
I am aware that I will fail Him and on some
days, I find other things attract me away, but I know beyond a shadow of a
doubt that will never happen with Him. He says He will never leave nor forsake
me and he means it. Never means never. He says nothing can separate me from His
love and He is one with His love so nothing can separate me from Him and He
means it.
I find that I can not boast in my love for
God nor my loyalty to His service, nor my faithfulness nor my knowledge of Him
but of His for me.I find that I am hesitant to make promises to Him, for I know lest He keeps them, I am most likely to fail.
I find that the only one I can be sure of in this relationship is Him.
