Truth be told

I used to be so totally honest on my blog because I thought no one paid any attention to it. It was like my other journal. I'd say the things I want to tell but scared to speak up. I'm a bit skeptical now,shy to be exact. I'm about to stop giving out my url because the blog reveals a side of me many rarely notice. So there is a certain joy in my life. The first half of this year was kind of rough and confusing for me. The last part however couldn't have been better. Something happened at camp. I met God but I also met people. So I have been discovering new things about God,myself and these people. There are many special ones but there is also a particular one. Yes it is a he. I cant describe him really. Even thinking about him right now has got my heart all up in knots and a smile playing at my lips. A special kind of person,I spent 8 days at camp and the only two times I wrote in my journal was about him.There is just something about him, I have been drawn to him straight from the start. I am not dreaming babies and weddings,no. It is just that,he inspires me alot.

The funny thing is there is nothing I find as endearing as his imperfections.I think about him A LOT.Of course I can't help but wonder if he thinks of me ever. I love being around him. I don't get butterflies or shortness of breath and amazingly at times around him I lose my words so I can be more quiet than usual. It is just a sweet feeling of contentment and appreciation for the person on the inside. Just because I know him a and get to talk to him every once in a while,my life feels so enriched. Does it make any sense? to me,most often not. There is a line in Brooke Fraser's "the thief", which says "you're breaking into my heart and I'm letting you". Some days I feel like that. So I smile and not ask why,I'm living in the moment and enjoying it, a lot!

Titles are hard to come by

Hello there, my dear lovelies. It has been a while since i last blogged. I've been kind of busy with exams and all but I'm just about done now. the latest going on.I'm looking for a job on radio, TV and magazine all at the same time. I think it's about time. i had an amazing weekend. I visited a couple of friends in another university who hosted me for the night, had actually gone for a party on Friday but the fun lasted all the way up to Saturday evening. I love you guys at UCU. I don't remember the last time I'd had that much easy fun in the company of friends, so much love going around. Thank you Jesus for the gift of friends. then I spent the rest of my weekend at home,spent the whole of Monday in my pj's watching chuck. I love that series.

 Life is beautiful. The Lord is surely doing so much in my life. He is giving me the desires of my heart, enlarging my territories and keeping me excited. These days, every new day is exciting! New opportunities to be a blessing to another. Living one day at a time but still in anticipation of the future. I spent some time talking to my mom about my plans and dreams, my heart was overwhelmed upon realisation of how much support i have from the home front, thank you Lord. The dreams are so many and one may wonder if all are possible, but we are all in agreement that they are possible.

I have wasted enough of my life just dreaming. its now time for action, somehow i know now is the time. I thank God so much for the boldness and encouragement He gives me unceasingly every single day, He is surely my best friend.For many years, I was timid and never tried out anything but by the grace of God, I am now boldly stepping up to the table He has prepared for me, a feast indeed. I trust Him, because I know He loves me. By the way,very soon I'll be giving you news about my new jobs,keep believing with me. There is so much I'd love to share but I also want to keep the blog short. I love you.

Today

I know where I am going. There may seem to be many options on my plate but I know which is my portion. that is the beauty of slowing down. Did I ever tell you about my passion for media? Just you watch the space, I even dream about these things. Have I ever told you I love music? Have I ever told you you need to meet me in order to fully understand me. I am tired. I want to be taken on a date, where I'll have personal time discovering another and being discovered. Mutual shock and wonder. I want to get all dressed up and beam with satisfaction as I see appreciation on the face of another even as words may not come. I want to take pictures and laugh over inside jokes. I want to eat ice cream and look at some one from across a table. I want to have a feeling in my heart that my head can't explain, secret smiles....I want to messasge back and forth. I want the anxiety at the though of running into some one. I want to feel special. This is how I get when I'm tired.

In recent news

Gadaffi killed in the worst way possible, policemen leave dr.Kizza Besigye's compound, UTODA takes KCCA to court and ministers fox us when it comes to oil debate....in other more important news! hi friends!!! The amazing many of you who actually read my blog. I am supposed to be doing research on my final year project but I've been sidetracked to blog. A lot has been happening in my life lately. I really thank God for this week because it is only Wednesday and I've already learnt a lot.

Monday might have been my best I had gone to bed sad, discouraged and almost depressed. I was in bed by 9:30pm, now that's early for me, but the Lord soothed me to sleep and when I awoke, He spoke to me truth that just gave my heart wings. He spoke to me of rest. teaching me how to work from rest versus resting from work. He spoke to me about faith and trust. As the day continued, he went ahead to put his words into actions as I stepped out to do things and saw his divine favour upon me. Later on in the night, I had a date with him, amazing. and that was just Monday. He continues to speak to me of rest,joy and peace. Today I read proverbs 16 and it blew me away. I make my plans but at the end of the day God is sovereign, He causes things to work out, and to my good at that! He's on my side, YEY! today, He shows me His love through people. to know that I am that loved! mind blowing and humbling at the same time. oh how He loves me! reminds me of a hymn. "it's so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take Him at His word, just to lean upon His promise, just to say thus sayeth the Lord...."

my mind

My journal has about two pages left yet my mind feels like it is exploding. This is a first for me,finishing the pages of a journal before the year ends. I have a lot on my mind, I have a lot in my heart. I think there are days I get tired from just thinking about what I have to do, constantly chasing deadlines, fighting hard to remind myself to live in the here and now. It is not easy when every tomorrow seems to have a lot waiting, a lot pending wondering why they all don't end today. Too much planning and no action frustrates me. I hate it when I lag behind but I also don't like it when someone else hinders my movement.

The mind is ever active with amazing ideas for things I'm passionate about but don't seem to have enough time at the moment to pursue. I have to be patient. The obligation is taking first place before the desired, seems to be the story of my life. but this too shall pass. I have heard many people say women are great multi-taskers, I am yet to see that quality in my life but I believe sometimes you need to handle one thing at a time for effectiveness. I am learning that it doesn't have to be a case of either or, that I can and actually am capable of doing more than two things at once which are even opposites. so Imma go to my room and encourage myself in the Lord. Surely He knows the desires of my heart and He alone sees the biggest picture. Once again I sing, keep my heart Lord, my ever dreaming heart and to this Lord I add, help me to put my mind in order. There's too much going on in there...

Higher heights

Just in case Papa san or his agents are reading, I so did not steal your album title. These are just words. It's just that life is super exciting these days. I seem to have discovered the more worthwhile side of everything.Yesterday, I was wondering about my life and realised I didn't really start living until 2009. That is when I started the journey of being true to myself thus the endless not missing of concerts even if it meant that I had to go alone. I am discovering better things. A better way to love, a better way to be loved, a better way to hurt even.

At some point I thought alcohol gave a really good high. I have discovered a high without mornings of throwing up and walking around as though half dead. Instead the after effects are, you appear more youthful, more energetic and excited about life. Yes, yes, you say you have heard time and time again but there is no high like love, the love of God. Everything seems brighter. Everything seems clearer and those that aren't, you don't care enough to notice. I have so much on my plate right now but I have learnt how to rest amidst the work. Doors are opening for me, I can see where I am going and it is superb! not anxious about narra! I have learnt when you stop pursuing all else and pursue God and set your mind on things which are above, the rest just come chasing you. Of course I'm a work in progress and I'm still learning but.....AMAZING. Not afraid to cry, not afraid to be real, not afraid to be seen, not afraid to smile, not afraid to be the background, not afraid period! because I am high 24/7. Oh how small everything looks from way up here...

SPEECHLESS

I don't think I have the words to fully describe how I'm feeling. Going for camp in Gulu is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. it is hard to comprehend the fullness of God, actually impossible. He constantly amazes me, how he honors and blesses us with His presence.

Dear Jesus, the plans you have for us are numerous and amazing! You are very personal and keep meeting each and everyone of us at our points of need. You spoke to me, healed me of a hurt I had pushed to the back of my mind instead of dealing with it. There was so much love, so much understanding. I met many new, amazing people. is it possible to form such a bond in one week that you feel like best friends? Yes, I miss my friends already, people I would like to get to know better, people I would love to share my life with, to open myself to and have them open themselves up to me. Indeed, better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere.